I could definitely get with something like that. I mean, personally, I don't drink. But older people sipping some martinis in the gym could be really entertaining. So, when I went to sign myself up, I was somewhat shocked that nobody at the gym seemed surprised that someone my age was joining the Silver Sneakers, at least, not the employees. My first day as a Silver Sneaker, I signed up for Tap Dance (after some prodding from Leslie, who I think just wants to see photos of me in costume), chair pilates, "more gentle than gentle" yoga (Yes, that's the name listed. I kid you not), and circuit resistance training. First up was the tap dance class. After hitting up Payless and buying my tap shoes, I started to already feel like a pro. I mean, c'mon, its tap. How hard can it be? Isn't it basically just stomping and shuffling? I didn't don a leotard and tights, but I did wear a semi-short dress and leggings. I felt like Baby from Dirty Dancing and I was not going to be put in a corner. I walked into the empty studio room and wondered if I had come to the wrong place. The class was supposed to start in just a minute, but nobody else was there. Just then, a herd of older ladies (not a single one over 5'4") barreled into the room. First, they assumed I was a substitute instructor. After realizing they were taking cues from my age instead of my skills, I explained that I was the newest member of the class. As it turns out, they had all been in "pre class". That's right. This just got serious. These ladies take a tap class before the actual tap class to be ready. When I laughingly asked if it was necessary, Mary Anne's smile fled from her face as she responded, "Yes. You haven't met Roberta." Suddenly I realized what was happening. I was in a dance class for seniors with a teacher who could rival Abby Lee Miller (from Lifetime's "Dance Moms"). About that time, in walked a statuesque woman standing about 6' tall thanks to platforms so high they could be used in a carnival show. She appeared to be in her late 60s or early 70s wearing hot pink coolots. She snapped her fingers and all the ladies filed into position. I was a deer in the headlights. As class went on, it became clear that I had greatly underestimated these ladies and this class. I was the only one sweating while Roberta called out "Sloppy! Again!". Our one hour class turned into a two hour and ten minute dance bootcamp. I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest and right into Virginia's solo. Eventually, Kay had the guts to speak up saying, "That's it! I have things to do today." And class was dismissed. At that moment, there was no greater hero than Kay. I couldn't get to my water fast enough. Just then Roberta asked to see me before I left. I just knew I was going to be asked to never return. Instead, she explained that it was more than a class. It is a dance troupe. We have recitals and performances. The next thing I knew (I'm genuinely intimidated by this woman), I was being measured for my costume (including jazzy gloves and top hats) and signing myself up for Roberta's ballet class/troupe where I have to be fitted for a tutu. A chunky 30 year old in a tutu. Let that sink in. Roberta tells me that I have to practice if I want to cut it, and at that moment in time, all I wanted was to make her proud. Later that night as I fumbled into bed, I heard the ding of my email account. Roberta had emailed me the routines to memorize. I had a DVD waiting on me to practice daily at home. I'm in too deep now. I can't let these ladies down. So maybe Silver Sneakers isn't sipping martinis and exchanging gossip about cardiologists. These women are hardcore. I'm pretty proud to be one of them. So I guess it will end up looking a little something like this:
Oh and did I mention that after class on Thursday, we celebrated Virginia's 93rd birthday? See ya' at the recital!
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