#5
Photo Credit: Google Images
These "Keep Calm And ..." things have got to stop. Here. Now. Are people really so stressed and worked up that they need to have these signs around reminding them to calm down? I mean, that's why I have a psychiatrist and a Xanax prescription. I think we all know it has gone a little too far when people can put things like "Keep Calm and Eat A Banana" on these signs. I mean when has a banana ever made you think "Ok, keep it together girl. Thanks for saving me, banana,"?! NEVER. I'm pretty sure that has never happened. If it has, then I guess I'm buying the wrong bananas. So how about we try this: everyone just generally try to stay calm. Exercise, meditate, pray, do what works for you. But for the love of all things sacred, please Keep Calm and Make These Signs Go Away.
#4
Photo Credit: Google Images
I'm fairly certain everyone has snored at some point in their lives. It happens. I have no idea why there is such a negative stigma about it. If accused of being a snorer, we automatically fein shock and declare it a down right lie. That being said, it is 2013 and we should have a cure for snoring by now. I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I can blame on my bedmate's snoring. He can't help it. I feel bad for him too because sometimes I think he sounds like he may be dying (or maybe I just hear the little voice in my head telling me to kill him so I can get some quiet). I know sleep apnea machines exist, but we've tried those and they just aren't a solution. Those C-Pap things tether the snorer into one position and wearing a gas mask to sleep is never comfortable. I'm pretty sure those Breathe Right strips are just expensive blackhead removers. Let's get some scientists on this. And while they're at it, ask them why the snoring person always falls asleep first.
#3
Photo Credit: Google Images
This is an actual photo of I-5 here in Washington. You may be thinking, "Well that's just part of living so close to a few large cities like Seattle and Portland." But I can almost promise you that this traffic (which isn't necessarily at rush hour) is stopped because one motorist accidentally hit a squirrel or raccoon and all the other motorists have stopped to hold a vigil. I cannot tell you how many times I've sat in bumper to bumper traffic only to discover there was absolutely no reason for it. I am sympathetic to high traffic times like rush hour, or car accidents, or breakdowns in the middle of the freeway. I am not sympathetic to the (far more common) officer having a car pulled over wayyy off the shoulder but we all still feel the need to come to a complete stop or the small woodland animal that has been trying to make it across 10 lanes and a median. Where I'm from, you just hit the squirrel and keep going. It happens. Circle of life. Let's work together, y'all.
#2
Photo Credit: Google Images
So maybe I just have a chip on my shoulder and am blaming too much of the traffic problem on over sensitive nature enthusiasts. But, if my hatred of rat-like things seems irrational, we can blame it on my experience lately with the "pack rat". That little fella may look cute all perched on the tire, but he is sent straight from some car-dealer-Satan to make your car breakdown, spend days at the dealership, and (in my case) lead you into getting a new car all together. It started when I got back home after spending months in Arkansas following my stroke. I had a bird frozen dead to the top of my Toyota Rav 4. Apparently, while I was gone, my car made for an excellent critter home. I had to take it in because a few dash lights came on that I didn't understand. The mechanic called me back to look under the hood and showed me what was apparently a massive rat community. The fools had chewed up all kinds of wires and filters. He asked me if I had been driving and seen a rat head poke out through the air vents. "Of course not!" I said shockingly. I was so shocked because I couldn't believe that the mechanic thought if I had seen a rat poke it's furry head through my vents, I'd be there to tell him about it. I'm about 99% sure that's when my poor heart would finally give out and I'd drive off a cliff. For days afterward, I was terrified to get in my car. I listened for scratching and condo construction under the hood. When the same lights came on 4 days later, I took my car back in. The mechanic showed me where the rats had gotten back in and destroyed his previous work. That was all it took. I was done. I had gone through a lot with that Rav, but it was time we parted ways. I read online that rats "mark" cars and I just knew that car was marked for life. In the end, I went home in a newer, bigger, nicer, rat-free (so far.. I still check weekly to make sure) Toyota Highlander. I'm thinking about training Avery to destroy rats but that seems like a mess I don't want to clean.
#1
Photo Credit; Google Images
My top annoyance right now isn't genuine homeless and/or needy people. If not for the many loved ones I have, I could easily be on the streets right now. Luckily, I have a wonderful family, lots of friends, and many others who would never allow that to happen. For them, I am grateful. I know there are many who are alone and without such a supportive network. It is that population that I am not talking about right now. It is the younger ones holding threatening signs that have me peeved. I was driving home from the pharmacy the other day when I saw a guy about my age or younger. (Truth be told, I'm in denial about my age and think some teens are my age. So really, he could be 15 or 35). He was sitting at the intersection apparently "working" through his lunch break. He was eating & drinking from his bag behind a big cardboard sign that read, "At least I'm not stealing the money from you." He looked like a lazy brat. I made eye contact with him and praise the Lord the light turned green because I was fired up. It actually crossed my mind to pull over and give him a piece of my mind. I should be thankful this fool isn't robbing me?! I wanted to punch him in the face and kick him in his difference then tell him to be thankful that I wasn't killing him. Isn't it the same thing? I can't help but think that if I didn't have my support system and was homeless, I'd use the resources provided in my community through non-profit organizations and such. I just don't understand the need for the threatening signs. I'm not heartless. In fact, Micah has lectured me a few times about helping people who claim to be in need. In the end, the best thing to do is donate money, time, and resources to organizations that help the needy. Don't offer to buy the begging lady at 7-11 a corndog because she's just going to ask for the trucker speed and swear to you her doctors say she needs it for her vitamins (yup, that happened).
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