I'm Baaaaaaaack!

Well, it has been a while, hasn't it? Three years or so it seems. I had such a fun time writing this blog, then life happened. I neglected it. It was therapeutic and a few readers found it entertaining. So, as I'm in need of a new therapeutic outlet (and, let's face it, I love to entertain!), I'm starting it back up again. For this motivation, I thank my dearest friends Kenna, Leslie, and Brandi. We vent to each other. We joke with each other. We laugh. We cry. Our friendship is really what defines "friendship". I think the fact that we are scattered across the US makes our friendship even more special. And for that, a big "thank you" to whoever invented group texting. It keeps me going.

Let's see if I can catch you up to speed on my life since my last post...

I am 3 months from turning 30. I live in Washington state with my wonderful boyfriend, Micah, and my furry snuggler, Avery. I am wrapping up my studies at Oregon State University. I graduate in June with a BA in Sociology and minor in Visual Arts. Tomorrow I begin a new volunteer-ship (I may have just invented that word) at Mary Bridge Children's Hospital where I will be working with children who are coping with the terminal diagnosis of a loved one or the loss of a loved one. I hope to one day use my degree and volunteer hours to work as a play and art therapist for children or siblings of children in hospice settings. As for my health (that is what birthed this blog to start with), it has only gotten worse. But, I refuse to agree with the nurse that saw me today and told me how "unlucky" I am. I'm pretty darn lucky, if you ask me. The doctor who put me on zero activity and lots of medications was not giving me the best care. I've seen doctors at the Mayo Clinic, University of Colorado Hospital, Providence St Peter's Catholic Cardiology, and am now at Group Health Cardiology (which I really like). I had a stroke one day after my 29th birthday that left me temporarily left side impaired. I still struggle with terrible headaches, short term memory loss, and sometimes left side weakness. Today, I was told by my cardiac team that the atriums of my heart are "very, very sick," (sometimes doctors who pick up on my accent still like to talk to me like a child. It's ok with me). My pacemaker is 100% running the show for my heart. My natural God-given pacemaker is dead. While this is good that I have something to keep my heart functioning, it also weakens my heart in the long run. So, today I was informed that there won't ever be a "getting well" for me. I'll always struggle with cardiac issues and syncope (fancy word for fainting). Research shows that patients who are 100% pacemaker dependent usually need further, more serious measures taken within 20 years of implantation. That gives science 15 years to perfect a bionic heart for me. I want the swiss army knife of hearts. I want it to be able to tell me why I walked into the kitchen to begin with. I want it to charge my cell phone. I want it to hold my pee if I am somewhere that only porta-potties are options. It's 15 years. I'm not asking for too much. So, in the meantime, I am embracing a new identity for myself. I'm planning a new future. And I'm having some fun along the way. (PS: I also have bangs now. Whaaa?!?? That's a preview of what's ahead..)

In previous blog posts, I shared funny and humiliating stories. For the future, I'm just going to share what is on my heart and mind. Sometimes they'll be humorous, and sometimes maybe they won't be. I'm not one of those girls who is posting a blog about recipes, boys, and suntan lotion. It's just not my style. If you're still reading this, you're either my mom or you've decided to be in it for the long haul. Either way, welcome!