Saturday, October 26, 2013

Child's Play

While living in Washington, I've been going to school full time to finish my degree. Before I had a stroke last November, I did a little babysitting for extra cash (in case you were wondering, as thankful as I am to have social security disability checks, it doesn't quite cover all my bills). I noticed that the kids I watched were into (obviously) all kinds of technologically advanced toys and games. I'm not about to say, "When I was a kid, we only had sticks and rocks to play with!". Growing up in the late 1980s and early to mid 1990s, we had some pretty nice gizmos to play with too. Who could forget the Tomagotchi which was the absolute perfect pet?! But lately I noticed a pretty young child of a friend who has their own Facebook account. I'm talking about a middle schooler. I have no stance on this in any way, but it got me thinking about what life would have been like for me if I grew up with the whole world just a click away. Frankly, it'd be total hell. I feel so bad for kids today who can't make one mistake without it being chronicled on the internet for all of history. That awkward phase you're going to go through with braces, no boobs, lanky limbs, and a face full of zits will be broadcast to LITERALLY the entire world. Luckily, my awkward phase(s) can be hidden if I bribe the right people. My cousin, Jordyn, who is an incredible teenage girl visited me this summer. During her visit, her mother (my Aunt Jennifer) called and texted Jordyn several times to see if she knew what twerking was and if she or anyone she knew posted twerking videos online. Honestly, my mother never had to have that conversation with me. Thank God.

Photo Credit: Google Images

Growing up, my parents gave me their huge, clunky "Danny Tanner- style" VHS recorder when they replaced it with a more slim-line one (yet still huge by today's standards). Most of my friends growing up were made at church. The core group consisted of me, my cousin Stacy, Andrea, Kelli, April, and Becca. We had sleepovers at each other's houses, went to school together, spent summer weeks at camp together, and saw each other at least twice a week at church. One of our favorite things to do at all of our sleepovers was make movies. I'd bring my ginormous camera, tripod, and tapes, and we'd make shows or music videos. I remember a few times we decided to act out our version of the Sally Jesse Raphael show. We called it "The Penny Panties Show." We weren't crude or anything like that. I think we just thought the word "panties" was humorous. We dressed up like trashy characters with idiotic problems. We teased our hair, caked on eyeshadow and lipstick, and stuffed our training bras with toilet paper. We made up silly stories and filmed them then laughed and giggled while watching them later. Our other favorite was making music videos. Once we made a cover of several Spice Girls songs. I dressed up as Scary Spice by flipping my frizzy curls upside down and dousing them with a can of Aqua Net. Naturally, all vocals were done by the original Spice Girls by playing the cassette close to the microphone on the camera. Once during a visit from Tennessee, my cousin Betty, Stacy and I had a sleepover at my house. This time we decided to make homemade peanut butter ice cream (which was a complete messy disaster, by the way). While it was supposed to be freezing, we decided to make cover of TLC's "Waterfalls". Stacy and I were T-Boz and Chili while Betty played the role of Left Eye. We used LOTS of black liquid eyeliner to make sure Betty looked the part. After dancing down the staircase for our music video, we decided to clean up and watch our work. My mom had recently bought decorative white guest towels with little monograms on them. At the time, we hadn't lived in our new house long. I had a mini stroke after seeing that Betty and Stacy washed off all their black makeup with mom's new towels. But, I digress...

Photo Credit Google Images


My point is, my friends and I did some really embarrassing stuff growing up. I can't imagine if those music videos or talk show clips were on YouTube, Vine, or Facebook. I'd definitely say we had it quite good back then. And by the way, if you girls who starred in those embarrassing videos are reading this, I still have them. And I'm taking bribes ;)

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Living A Horror Film

It's October and tis the season for all things scary. Frankly, I hate scary movies and being scared in general. To kick this month off, I'm going to tell you about the time I lived a real life horror film.

Leslie, Me, Brandi in my and Bran's apartment

In 2009, I was living in Little Rock with my friend Brandi. We had a cute three bedroom place on the third floor of a gated complex in a decent neighborhood. Both Brandi and I worked jobs with no set hours, so our schedules were always varying. Our best friend, Leslie, (who introduced us to each other) lived not too far away with her husband. Brandi and I shared a passion for late night murder mystery shows like "Dateline", "48 Hours", and other 'who-dunnit' real life shows. We liked to think of ourselves as couch detectives. I mean that pretty literally because we put two couches in the living room so we could both stretch out and watch the shows when we had insomnia. If we weren't solving crimes, we'd be watching ridiculous reality tv or medical marvel shows. (We had lots of insomnia during our time together... ).

One night, I had actually been tired and decided to go to bed at a decent hour. I left Brandi on her couch while I turned in. Our bedrooms were on opposite sides of the apartment from each other. I assumed I'd been asleep for a few hours when I heard loud knocking (actually, more like banging) on our front door. It was so loud that I jolted awake and rushed to the door. I peered out the peephole half asleep and saw a shadowy figure of a woman about our age with long dark hair. She wasn't knocking though. The knocks were coming from another person who was straddling the banister hidden from sight. Instead of opening the door or vocally responding, I went to Brandi's room. She was asleep in bed apparently not hearing the commotion. I shook her awake and asked, "Hey are you expecting company?". Groggily, she replied, "I told them we don't have eggs." Confused, I was sure Brandi was having a weird dream about eggs. (Just an extra piece of info: I'm proud to say I taught Bran how to boil eggs during our time as roomies. Now that she's a great cook, I like to take a little smidge of credit!). About that time, the knocking got a bit louder. So, Brandi got up and peeked through the hole for herself. We decided it best not to answer the door and not to reply to the knockers. Instead, I got my security weapon (read: butcher knife I kept under my pillow) and we hunkered down away from windows on the floor between the two couches. With my knife clutched in my hand, Brandi tells me that when she was still in the living room after I'd gone to bed, someone had knocked on our door. She looked through the hole and saw the lady that was out there now. Since she was shadowy, the lady kind of looked like Leslie. So Brandi opened the door assuming it was Leslie. Instead, the lady asked if she could borrow eggs. Brandi told her we didn't have any and shut the door. Then she decided to go to bed. Now the lady was back, but she wasn't alone. The vibe was very eery since there was clearly a man hiding over the railing knocking on the door and the woman was standing too far back to intend to talk to us or come inside if we opened the door. At the corner where she stood, we thought we saw her turning to talk to someone else around the corner, out of our sight. Brandi decided the whole situation reminded her of a movie she had seen called "The Strangers". In the movie, a couple staying in an isolated vacation house receive a knock on the door in the mid-hours of the night. What ensues is a violent invasion by three strangers, their faces hidden behind masks. The couple find themselves in a violent struggle, in which they go beyond what either of them thought capable in order to survive, (credit: IMDB because you know I didn't watch it). For reasons I could not even begin to tell you, we didn't call the police. We didn't call anyone or do anything. We just stayed on the floor of the living room, me clutching a butcher knife practicing in my head the best maneuver for stabbing the heart of an intruder. We stayed there long after the knockers left. In the wee hours of morning, we felt safe enough to return to our beds. As if common sense had been sleeping through it all only to wake up in the morning and greet us, we discussed calling the apartment security manager. We informed them of what happened and spoke with a police officer who lived in an apartment in our complex. He told us it was smart of us not to have answered the door (duh). It seemed like the initial knock when Brandi answered was a way for them to find out who lived in our apartment. If a male lived there, he'd most likely be the one to answer a door late at night. Since Brandi answered, they were sure only females lived there. Later, when I heard the knocking, the girl had returned with at least one male, possibly two. Had we opened the door, the man knocking and hiding to the side could've easily pushed his way in and overpowered us. Kind of scary to think about.

Photo Credit: Google Images

Now, when Micah is out of town and I'm home alone, I keep that same butcher knife close by. Although I live in one of the safest towns in America, I'm not taking any chances. I keep 911 on speed dial. And if you're thinking about trying something tricky on me in the middle of the night, beware. My heart stabbing maneuvers have only improved since then I'm sure!