Teenage Courtney,
Give yourself a break. You think all your peers are judging every aspect of your appearance and every move you make. In reality, they aren't. They're all far too busy being insecure about themselves. That group over there who act like they rule the world because they don't have a zit or extra ten pounds are just putting on a show. Trust me, they are feeling the exact same thing you are when you're getting ready for school each morning. So that boy you've grown up with and who sits at your lunch table called you a pig? You definitely aren't. He just knows what button to push. A good lunch doesn't consist of a Diet Coke and a trucker speed pill (ps: you become a huge advocate for cardiac care by the time you're 25 and are very disappointed in your 16 year old self).
Be yourself. It's ok to like what you like and not like what everyone else does. Just because the "ring leader" of your group of friends likes something doesn't mean you have to. Develop your own tastes and introduce your peers to new things. While you're at it, stand up for yourself and what you believe is right. Your resolve will be tested many times before graduating high school. Don't cave to be someone you think everyone wants you to be. Stand up. Be the you that you know you are. Trust your gut. It has rarely steered you wrong.
Your parents aren't so bad. I know they seem really disconnected and unfair a lot of the time. Believe it or not, your mom will one day be your best friend. You'll actually go to her first for advice and have fun hanging out with her. Your dad, well, he'll always be a goofball. But that goofball has always and will always put you above the world. Your parents have their faults like everyone else, but cut them some slack. You sure aren't making things easy for them. Besides, later you'll realize that when times are the worst, your parents will always be by your side. Always. So stop acting like a jerk and spend some time with them while you still live in the same city.
Question everything you're taught. Just because someone tells you something is fact doesn't mean it is. This goes for teachers in school, church, friends, coworkers, etc. Always be inquisitive. Don't take things at face value. Form your own opinions and beliefs through knowledge and faith. Trusting your gut applies here too. You're a smart girl. Think for yourself.
You don't have to have it all figured out. In fact, from what I've gathered so far, you may never actually figure it out anyway.
Not all friendships last forever, but cherish them while you have them. You aren't going to stay close to those you're best friends with now. As you grow up, your decisions will take you to many new places and phases of life. Every friendship you have serves a purpose. Try to look at your relationships with others and see what you can learn from them. Be grateful for these people. You wouldn't be who you are without them even if you drift far away from each other.
Your life isn't measured by anyone else's. When you're almost 30, you'll still be struggling with this one. Don't compare your achievements or lack thereof to anyone else's. Set your own standards and goals and work hard to reach them. There is no set formula or map for everyone to follow. You chart your own way. So, don't try to follow the map someone else has made for themselves. If you keep that up, you will never know happiness. By the way, it is ok to be proud of yourself. That doesn't make you a bad person. You are working hard and should be proud of your achievements.
Smile more. It may not seem like much, but it really is. Besides, your parents paid a fortune for that smile. You should show it off. Plus, it scores you a few admirers later in life.
All my love,
29 years & 10 months Courtney
PS: Maybe 40 year old Courtney will write us to take it easy on turning 30...
PPS: You really should focus on driving when you're behind the wheel. Seriously. No distractions. No acting up. Focus.
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| Photo Credit: Pinterest |
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